I’m not going into the whole shebang here, but as I watch Joaquin killing people in Gladiator, I’m going to start making note of what’s happening so that YEARS from now I can look back and wonder how I ever felt this bad.
Basically, I got some sort of foodborne illness from a Mexican restaurant in early October. A week later, I began to feel worse with some trouble breathing, so I saw my FP. He wrote me a scrip for Prednisone and Augmentin and I was off to heal. I thought.
I had SEVERE reactions to the Prednisone that effectively eliminated my Fall “Break”. I had several panic attacks, cried, thought I was going to die, etc. The doctor’s office let me stop taking it once I was down to the two-a-day part of the Prednisone but I finished the Augmentin because the doctor said there was no way I didn’t have a sinus infection with as much blockage as I had.
With other problems I’d been having at that office (which I won’t go into), I decided it was time to seek a new doctor. I landed an appointment with a fantastic internist in Farragut after being recommended by a colleague. At this point I was sick all the time but it waxed and waned.
I am emetophobic, so constant nausea was NOT something I could even begin to remotely live with. I literally feel like I need to RUN when I’m going to throw up. I hate it so much I’ve done it a total of four times since infancy. I sweat, I cry, I panic, I think I’m going to die. It’s no good. And I felt on the brink of this ALL THE TIME.
Like I said, it waxed and waned but I wasn’t eating a lot as I was afraid I’d throw up and I got nauseous every. single. night.
I was down about 8 lbs.
My internist put me on Prilosec, which helped a little, and thought maybe I was having a severe bout of gastritis from the Prednisone (when I finally stopped it, my stomach felt like a burning rock in my abdomen and I was over it). I took it for two weeks and had some marginal success with eating and feeling better and was able to enjoy some school functions, but it definitely didn’t go away. The doctor wanted me to try two Prilosec a day to see if that would help. It made me feel a bit bloated and I still didn’t want to eat (my appetite was fine and still is- if I felt okay, I would eat a CAKE right now), but I saw some success with it and managed a school training trip that included an overnight! I even drove, even though EVERYTHING makes me nauseous now. I could previously stomach everything- bad smells, gross images, gore, blood, people throwing up, thinking about throwing up, fast food, spicy food, everything. Now, all of that makes me feel queasier. I used to eat whatever I felt like. In less than a month, I can’t even eat a banana without nausea.
I had a pregnancy test at the doctor’s office; it was negative (yesterday).
I have now lost 20 lbs. I am down a size. People compliment me on it and the savvy ones know that it’s a bad way to lose weight, but I did need to lose it. It doesn’t bother me.
I am tired a lot. I can stomach a small meal in the morning and a bit larger one in the early afternoon, but not much at all at night. That’s when the stomach cramping and the REAL nausea set in.
I am depressed. I can’t be a wife to my husband, I can’t take care of our house. I certainly don’t want to cook and I LOVE TO COOK. I cry when I think nobody will notice because I’m not me right now and I don’t know who I am. I am a person who is tired, sick, and has no energy and that’s not me at all. Sure, I can be as lazy as the next guy, but it’s not normal for me to have no drive at Christmas. Not at all.
I have an ultrasound next week to see if my gallbladder is the culprit. All I can think about is the number of people I’ve seen who say they’ve had their gallbladder out and then it turned out that wasn’t it and they had not only their old symptoms but new ones as well. I would pay stacks of money at this point if someone could guarantee me that that’s what it is, they’ll fix it, and I’ll feel better. If the GB ultrasound comes back clear, they’re also going to do a HIDA scan to see if my GB is working effectively or at all. After that, it’s scary things like stomach cancer, stomach dysmotility (which you can’t do anything about it and makes you vomit everything you eat), or the worst of all- “We can’t find anything wrong.”
I would be willing to give up fast food for the rest of my life if I needed to. I haven’t had a Coke in two months, so I know that won’t be a thing. But none of this makes sense to me and I’m kind of a big, scary mess right now and I don’t like it.