Number One on the Charts!

I got an email informing me that my blood test results were available.  Online!  This is both a blessing and a curse for someone like me.  I had to go research creatinine levels, which wasn’t fun (or enlightening), but now I also have a record to take to my holistic doctor.  It’s also good to have ownership of your own health information.

So everything’s normal.  My glucose is fine, my cholesterol is a little high (the LDL is always a little high because I have NAFLD), my HDL (good) cholesterol is beautifully high.  My Vitamin D still “needs work”, but it’s within normal levels now.  Go me!

The thing that really made a difference, though?  The thing that caught my attention?

Under conditions, I have an official diagnosis that says “Anxiety Disorder”.

I mean, obviously I’ve known about this for a long time.  I’ve been taking medication for a while for panic attacks and there was discussion of anxiety, but this is the first time it has shown up on an official chart as part of my conditions (along with “Insomnia Due to Stress”).  Now that I’m taking medication to help my brain function properly, I feel a lot more responsible for my mental health.  I feel a lot more responsible for not accepting stress just because it’s “part of the job”.  I do not accept that.  I refuse.  I WILL take care of my emotional and mental health and I will not allow anyone to get in the way of that.

I MUST stop living my life centered around what other people will think and take care of what I actually think about myself and my choices.  I understand that some people will be frustrated by that, but I can’t help what other people do.  I will strive to be as loving and caring and generous as I always try to be (and I always think I can do more), but I can no longer allow myself to judge myself through others’ eyes.

I have a feeling this is going to be a looooooooooooooooong lesson for me.



(I tried to reverse image search this image to credit it, but it’s been used so much, I can’t find it.  If you know who I should credit, please let me know.)



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